Charli Howard always wanted to be a model. From the age of 11, the London girl who dreamt of a life in front of the camera did everything she thought would get her there. Like some hopefuls, that included battles with bulimia and anorexia which, dozens of episodes later, would send her back to where she started: in front of the mirror.

In many ways, Howard's journey is similar to that of most models. "I was obsessed with being a model. That's all I ever wanted to be," she tells Refinery29. "For someone who is in control of their food, that kind of thing was perfect, because it meant that if I became a model, I would be perfect — and all of the hard work I was doing to keep my weight down wouldn't have been in vain; it would mean something."

But after getting dropped from her first agency after just three years for weighing 100 pounds (which was allegedly higher than the industry standard for straight-sized models at the time), she stopped being polite about her figure. She wrote a letter unequivocally denouncing the industry — and it went viral.

"I refuse to feel ashamed and upset on a daily basis for not meeting your ridiculous, unobtainable [sic] beauty standards, whilst you sit at a desk all day, shovelling cakes and biscuits down your throats and slagging me and my friends off about our appearance," she wrote in a Facebook post in October 2015. "The more you force us to lose weight and be small, the more designers have to make clothes to fit our sizes, and the more young girls are being made ill. It's no longer an image I choose to represent." Howard credits her success to "staying true to her shape."

She recounts what, she says, her agent told her via phone: "'We really appreciate how much you go to the gym, but some people just aren’t designed to be models. Not everyone's body shape is. We're sure that another agency might take you on, but we can’t work with you'." Howard wasn't having it. "I was like, 'Uhh… okay, fuck you,' and that's when I wrote the letter." At last, she saw in the mirror what was actually there.

Throughout her childhood, Howard lacked stability at home; moving around Europe as the military brat to an Air Force father activated an impulse to control. "It started off with obsessive compulsive disorder, but then religion came into it," she begins. Howard attended Catholic school because it was "the only good school" in the Peckham area, she says. According to her, people were more afraid of priests than police. "Despite the fact [my family] wasn't Catholic, I think it put the fear into me about doing things 'wrong.' I'd start overanalysing everything 'bad' I'd done throughout the day," she explains.

"I got hold of a Christian bible and suddenly thought that if I read it, I'd be 'pure.' It became a game of seeing how many passages I could read at night to prove to God that I was pure and true to my word," she says. "If someone came to me and said, If you repent your sins, you'll be fine, it'd make me super anxious because I felt like someone was watching me or that I was doing something wrong." That obsession would eventually manifest in other ways, including another form of anxiety: intrusive thoughts.

"It's a form of OCD where your mind makes you think you've done stuff that you haven't. Some people think they've framed someone or touched a child inappropriately, or that they've done these horrific things," Howard explains. "I had that with religion. I started to get obsessed with what God thought, and then what other people thought — so when you get to the age of nine or 10 and you're looking at your friends who are paranoid about their weight because their moms say things to them, you start thinking, Oh, well maybe there’s something wrong with me."

Because Howard's eating disorder stretched beyond food (as many do), it became an addictive stress reliever that couldn't be solved with quick fixes. Her mother wouldn't find out about her eating habits until she began her recovery in the US. For years, she staved off questions about her thin appearance, telling her parents it was natural. Avoiding them altogether meant she didn't have to face full plates of food, which, to her, would set her progress back. The last time she'd purge was when she moved to New York in 2015.

These days, circa spring 2018, Howard may not be the model she thought she would be (starving, tired, walking the runways), but she wouldn't change a thing. In 2015, Howard joined Muse NYC, a lower Manhattan modelling agency that prides itself on representing unique and diverse talent. "They were so supportive, but everyone was kind of confused where I fit in because I started to put on weight — and, though it was no way a personal goal, I was starting to get a bit too big to be on the runway," she says, noting that at one point, she only had two jobs on her schedule. But before she found "the fun side of modelling," as her agent put it, she needed to get something off her chest.

"At the end of that year, I remembering bringing it all up to the head of the agency and saying: 'If you want to drop me, just drop me. Because I'm not making any money and I'm letting you guys down.'" It was this same type of phone call that preceded her being dropped by her London agency. But this time, the person on the other end of the line disagreed. "Why would you say that? We believe in you and we believe you've got something to offer," he told her. By the start of the next year, Howard went in to speak with the vice president and director of the Muse+ board, who told her to relax and let go. "Then I found myself eating what I wanted and working out, but still battling those demons."

Since signing, she's appeared in the December 2017 issue of British Vogue, fronted campaigns for Desigual, Express, and Mango, and co-founded her own body-diverse e-initiative called the All Woman Project. She can now add author to her resume too: Her book, Misfit (which hit shelves in March), details her struggles with eating disorders, her fight to normalise body diversity in the modelling industry and how humour can be a coping mechanism, among other topics.

"It's been really good for me to purge all of this, for lack of better words," she says of the eight months it took her to write Misfit. "It's been like therapy for me. But I didn't write every traumatic thing I've been through, because it's still difficult to talk about. These memories, they become locked away in your head, and as you try to think about stuff that's happened, suddenly they all come at you. And you lose control of your brain."

More than ever, models are speaking out — via social media and books like Howard's — against the injustices of the fashion industry. From Ashley Graham to Edie Campbell, they’ve come forward in droves with new demands for body inclusion, accounts of professional misconduct, and more — helping to reshape what it means to be a model. With an entire book confronting issues that many famous faces confine to personal essays or Instagram stories, Howard has helped to extend the conversation offline.

But with increased visibility comes increased criticism. She hears words like "fat" and "disgusting" regularly, but doesn't let it go to her head. "The worst comments are people who say, 'Oh, you're not as thin as you once were.' As someone who is trying to recover, you're like, Shit, I have put on weight. Does that mean I'm failing? What do I do?," she admits. Howard says the success of the #AllWoman campaign (now on its fourth run after a collaboration with Aerie) has helped evolve her perspective on the modelling world and her peers. "Seeing girls who were thinner than me but had stretch marks on their back or their tummy helped me. Because even though I was a model, and even though I knew my own images were photoshopped, for some reason my brain wasn't connecting that other girls and their photos were being photoshopped, too."

"I do give a shit about my body," she continues, adding that she goes to the gym "two or three times a week, but I don't kill myself there." Howard also hears regularly from "straight-size models" still struggling to stay unnaturally thin. "Thank God I have an agent who actually lets me be me and books me jobs where I can be myself," she says.

Today, Howard has an entire career – and life – ahead of her. In just a few difficult but transformative years, she's helped redefine what it means to be a model: not a curve model, not a plus-size model, but a model on her own terms — and an author and activist, too.

"It's a very personal thing when you’re letting the world know that your mind isn't as perfect as we all like to think [it is]. Now, I’m just like — I don't give a fuck."

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It's never easy to let go of something you love. Really, it's one of the hardest conclusions a person will ever have to come to, acknowledging — and then accepting — that a part of your life is no longer servicing you as it once did. I have suffered two great disappointments of this kind, two crushing blows of realisation that a thing I had built my life around wasn't working for me the way I wanted it to. The first, years ago, was smoking weed. ("It's actually really good for anxiety," everyone would tell me, while my hands shook and my heart raced and my vision blurred and I considered calling my parents to tell them I loved them before I died.) And the second, far more recently, was essential oils.

Here's where that ill-fated love story begins: me, over the age of five but definitely no older than 10, huffing the huiles aromatiques in their frosted-glass flacons that my mom kept on her dresser. And here is where it ends: around two decades later, relying on an expensive cocktail of skin-care products enriched with oils, both essential and non, to tackle problems ranging from acne to redness to sensitivity to just... problematic. According to my internal narrative, I had bad skin, and I was using good products to treat it. But it never got better. Why?

There's that quote that's always attributed to Albert Einstein, even though it might well have originated in an old Narcotics Anonymous handbook from 1981 and never been spoken at all by the German-born genius: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results." So maybe I'm insane! Or maybe I'd just invested so much in the idea that natural "toxin-free" products with organic essential oils were Good and my skin was Bad that it was hard to flip that script.

The first step was a kind of trial separation from my bergamot and neroli and orange blossom and lavender and all the aromatherapeutic blends I used to inhale deeply for ten breaths as I massaged them into my skin. I found a line of products that I liked that happened to leave out essential oils. The brand's founder, chemist Marie-Veronique Nadeau, said that she formulated an essential oil-free range as a way to "eliminate one factor in the guesswork with sensitive skin issues, and that it did. I used them consistently for a few days, and that was it. Irritation: gone. Redness: gone. Weird flakiness around my mouth: gone. Breakouts: gone. Like magic — or, at the very least, like normal, balanced skin.

And because I'm not insane, I haven't gone back to my old ways. I no longer use any essential oils; in fact, I scan every ingredients list with an eagle's eye before trying anything new, and if I see any of my old floral-extract friends, I'm out.

This, I should mention, is controversial. I know, I know — controversy should be limited to discussion around things like Amber Rudd resigning over the Windrush scandal, not whether or not I like putting essential oils on my face. But you'd really be surprised: I've sat down with esteemed founders of popular skin-care brands who balk at my suggestion that essential oils do not work for me. They act like I'm lying, or like I am an idiot who has put pure undiluted tea-tree oil on my face and wondered why it burned, which I haven't. "I’ve seen severe contact dermatitis from a variety of products containing essential oils," a board-dermatologist with a medical degree once told me, which is to say: I am not making this shit up.

But for every brand that puts essential oils in their formulas like they're going out of style (and they're really not — people have been using them for thousands of years, which is a good indicator that they'll probably never stop), there's another brand that's wising up to the fact that, while they're not inherently bad, they just don't work for everyone. Peet Rivko and Drunk Elephant have sworn them off entirely; Trilogy and Sunday Riley both offer some essential oil-free formulas. And if you find your skin in constant turmoil for a reason that remains a mystery, consider taking a break and seeing what happens. Breaking up was hard to do, but things are so much better on the other side — which, coincidentally, is exactly what I'd say to my pot-peddling high-school boyfriend, too.

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In 2018, clear, glowing skin is the new status symbol, implying that those of us without a flawless complexion just aren't trying hard enough. There's very little room for conversations about skin that falls outside the Instagram-perfect, lit-from-within standards.

Looking to dismantle the illusion and break down the stigma around skin conditions like cystic acne, psoriasis and rosacea, London-based photographer Sophie Harris-Taylor shot and interviewed makeup-free women from across the country for a series called Epidermis, in an effort to highlight and celebrate the diversity of our skin.

"I wanted to create a series of work that empowers and allows women to love the skin they’re in, regardless of what condition they have," Sophie explained. "Suffering from severe acne throughout my teens and 20s left me incredibly self-conscious and I longed for 'normal' skin. Normality is defined by the images we see all around us. We are led to believe all women have perfect flawless skin – they don’t."

While we know that overexposure to a certain type of image can alter your perception of reality, Instagram is arguably more pervasive and sinister than billboards and magazine ads. The 637,540 (at the time of writing) posts tagged #FlawlessSkin make us feel just as bad about our faces as painfully thin, hairless models do about our average, hairy bodies.

"Whether not shown or simply disguised, many women suffer from conditions such as acne, rosacea and eczema, and most of these women feel a pressure to hide behind a mask of makeup, covering up what actually makes them unique," Sophie says. "Here, these beautiful women proudly bare their skin.”

While makeup can work wonders for your confidence, and is a joyous way to express your individuality, heavy coverage shouldn't be the only option for those battling skin conditions. We need to normalise and salute skin that isn't "flawless" – otherwise we'll just continue to pressure women into hiding their true selves and delivering their appearance in a neat little package. Let's question what "perfection" really means, and remind ourselves that glowing, clear skin is not beauty's be-all and end-all.

Ahead, we've selected eight women from Sophie's series, who show us their skin in all its natural glory, and talk about how their relationship to it has changed over time.

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Fresh off its role in the Billboard 100 hit "I Took A Pill In Ibiza," the island in the Mediterranean Sea has another gig: It's starring in the Netflix film Ibiza, which arrives on the streaming site on May 25. The first trailer for Ibiza arrives today, and you can watch it exclusively on Refinery29. The film, written by Lauryn Kahn and directed by Alex Richanbach, is a tale of a work trip gone horribly awry. Or wonderful, depending on your perspective. Gillian Jacobs (Netflix's Love) stars as Harper, a can-kicking employee who's never been on a work trip. Ibiza documents her first trip, which takes her to... not Ibiza.

Harper goes to Barcelona, where a "big meeting" lies in wait. Her two best friends, Leah (Phoebe Robinson) and Nikki (Vanessa Bayer) join, because why not? It's Barcelona. In Barcelona, she meets a handsome DJ (Richard Madden, the erstwhile Rob Stark on Game of Thrones). This DJ is, according to one character, a "proper artist." Harper has the traditional meet-cute, but then, her DJ-in-shining-armour leaves for greener pastures. What's a girl to do but chase the DJ of her dreams all the way to Ibiza, land of EDM?

"This is destiny," Leah points out in the trailer, acting as the voice of reason. "Some people land on the moon. Others cure diseases. You smash this DJ."

Ibiza is the feature debut of Richanbach, who has worked as a director on the TV Land series Throwing Shade. He and Kahn are frequent collaborators, having met at the website Funny or Die, where they were both staff writers. This is also Kahn's first feature.

Watch the full trailer for Ibiza, below.

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What women eat could affect the age at which they reach menopause, new research suggests. A diet high in refined carbs could bring on menopause symptoms sooner, while eating oily fish, peas and beans was linked to a delayed natural menopause.

The study by researchers from the University of Leeds, published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, found that a diet high in pasta and rice was linked to women beginning menopause 1.5 years earlier than the average age of 51 for women in the UK.

Meanwhile, the four-year study of 914 women aged 40-65 found that a diet heavy in legumes, including peas, beans, lentils and chickpeas, was linked to starting menopause 1.5 years later than average.

While the researchers took into account other contributing factors, including the women's weight, reproductive history and use of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), they were unable to examine the influence of genetic factors, and said women don't necessarily need to change their diets based on the findings.

While the research was unable to prove a cause-and-effect relationship between diet and the age of menopause, the researchers had various explanations for the benefits of particular foods.

Fresh legumes contain antioxidants, which have been linked to prolonged menstruation, while omega-3 fatty acids, which are abundant in oily fish, can potentially enhance antioxidant capacity.

On the other hand, high consumption of refined carbs (classified as high glycemic index foods) increases the risk of insulin resistance. This can mess with sex hormones and increase oestrogen levels, which triggers ovulation and could result in more menstrual cycles, leading a woman's egg supply to run out sooner.

The study is important because some women experience negative health implications from starting the menopause early, such as osteoporosis and heart disease, while those who experience it later are at greater risk of breast, womb, and ovarian cancers.

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It feels like we've been waiting all year for this moment (okay, maybe we have been). But with April and its miserable showers behind us, May might be our chance at some real warm weather. And frankly, it's about time.

Though the temperatures haven't necessarily been cooperating, we've been full-speed ahead on prepping our spring wardrobe: We've embraced colour drenching, we've upped our accessory game, and we've even put our fear of wearing white behind us. Basically, we're more than prepared for spring — er, summer — to commence.

But for those who haven't been bookmarking high-waisted bathing suits and cat-eye sunglasses for the past few months, we've rounded up 28 outfits (one for every day of the month), to fully inspire your summer selves.

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After South African middle-distance runner Caster Semenya won gold in the 800 meters at the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) World Championships in 2009, the IAAF subjected her to "femininity testing" to evaluate the levels of testosterone in her blood. The testing found that Semenya has a condition called hyperandrogenism, which causes her to naturally produce higher amounts of testosterone than most other cisgender women. Upon discovering this, the IAAF suspended her from competing in track and field competitions for eight months, and then went to work developing new rules that detailed what type of woman was allowed to compete in the association's races — and thus, a controversy was born.

Now, as the IAAF releases new, even more stringent guidelines, the questions Semenya's story raised are more pertinent than ever. Namely, does having naturally elevated testosterone levels give women a competitive edge in sports?

The IAAF believes it does, so much so that the association has recently doubled down on regulations that have already been called into question. In 2011, the IAAF released regulations that stated that women like Semenya could no longer run in mid-distance races (anything between 400 meters and one mile) unless they artificially lowered the amount of testosterone their bodies produced. Originally, the IAAF set the acceptable androgen ("male" hormone) levels for women at 10 nanomoles per litre (nmol/L) of blood, which is roughly the lowest amount that cisgender men produce. On Thursday, the organisation made their eligibility requirements even stricter, lowering the acceptable androgen levels for women runners to 5 nmol/L.

The move has many people questioning whether the IAAF's attempt to make women's running more fair actually unjustly excludes some women (and intersex people). As The New York Times points out, this new rule could effectively end some elite female runners' careers. Women who naturally produce 5 nmol/L of testosterone or more have three options under this new rule: They can take medication similar to a hormonal birth control pill to lower the amount of testosterone they produce, they can compete with men, or they can stop racing in IAAF races (which means they'd have no chance of making it to the Olympics).

The rule is neither racist nor sexist. The sport has a lot of athletes with DSD. It is not just the one or two females you hear about in the media. In elite female athletics, the number of intersex athletes is 140 times more than you might find in the normal female population.

— IAAF (@iaaforg) April 26, 2018

The IAAF claims that the new rule is necessary for the sake of fair play. According to a statement from the IAAF: "The revised rules are not about cheating, no athlete with a DSD [Difference of Sexual Development] has cheated, they are about levelling the playing field to ensure fair and meaningful competition in the sport of athletics where success is determined by talent, dedication, and hard work rather than other contributing factors." And some medical professionals do say that high levels of testosterone could give female runners an advantage over their peers.

"Five nmol/L is three times greater than the upper limit of normal in women," says Clare Flannery, MD, an endocrinologist at Yale School of Medicine. It's uncommon for women to have testosterone levels that high, even if they have a condition like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which causes elevated androgen levels, she says. Because testosterone helps in muscle growth, as well as in the production of haemoglobin (which carries oxygen from the lungs to the body's tissues), elevated levels could give women like Semenya a boost. "Women with significantly higher levels of testosterone could potentially have greater muscle strength and greater oxygen carrying capacity. That would be an advantage in running," Dr. Flannery says.

The question is: With so many variables that could give one person a leg up over another, why is the IAAF so worried about testosterone?

Yet, some people argue that greater levels of testosterone won't give runners a significant enough advantage to exclude these women from the sport. In 2015, Indian sprinter Dutee Chand fought the IAAF's first hyperandrogenism rule through the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) and won. The CAS stated that hyperandrogenism would have to give women a 10% to 12% advantage over other female runners, otherwise it's unfair to deem elevated testosterone such an important factor in "levelling the playing field."

As a result of Dutee's case, the CAS suspended the IAAF's hyperandrogenism rules for two years and asked the organisation to find proof that elevated testosterone gives women a significant edge over their competition. In 2015, research funded by the IAAF found that hyperandrogenism could give women runners an advantage between 1.8% and 4.5%, which isn't large enough to make a real difference, according to the CAS's ruling.

In the ensuing years, the IAAF has continued to fund research into hyperandrogenism in sports. The organisation claims that a 2017 study found sufficient evidence to support cutting the original testosterone restrictions in half, NPR reports. Athletics South Africa, which represents Semenya, posted a statement to Twitter on Thursday saying that they would be studying the new IAAF regulations to make sure they're in line with the CAS's recommendations.

Athletics South Africa has responded to the @iaaforg new female testosterone regulation laws that are set to come into effect on 1st November. pic.twitter.com/xEG382T9iU

— EWN Sport (@EWNsport) April 26, 2018

The question is: With so many variables that could give one person a leg up over another, why is the IAAF so worried about testosterone?

As bioethicist Silvia Camporesi pointed out in a 2017 op-ed for Aeon, most athletes have some sort of genetic advantage over the rest of the population (and definitely some more than others), and athletes who have the monetary resources to train at high-end facilities could also have a leg up over those who can't afford that sort of training. Someone could even have an advantage simply based on where they live. "Living and training at a high altitude, then racing at lower altitudes would also have the effect of increased oxygen carrying capacity," Dr. Flannery says.

On top of all this, there's one major aspect the IAAF seems to be forgetting: Cisgender men with elevated testosterone also benefit from above-average T levels. "Higher testosterone levels will generally be an advantage in both men and women," Dr. Flannery says. Cisgender men produce between 7.7 and 29.4 nmol/L of testosterone, according to the IAAF. So, it would stand to reason that male athletes on the higher end of that spectrum would have an advantage over male athletes on the lower end. If testosterone is being positioned as the "biggest" predictor of athletic performance, then shouldn't we be putting men into "testosterone classes" similar to the weight classes used to keep wrestling matches fair?

Maybe that seems like a ridiculous solution; and the truth is, "levelling the playing" field for men would probably be much more complicated than that. But doing the same thing for women isn't simple, either. (Not to mention, dividing sports by binary gender completely leaves out intersex and gender nonconforming people.) The IAAF may have pure intentions to make women's competitive running as fair as possible — and, honestly, making sports more fair does sound like a good thing — but policing gender through "femininity tests" misses the mark. It's a Band-Aid solution to a much more complicated problem.

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I strongly believe that you can't get very far in life by winging it. Of course, as a financial planner, I'm obviously biased. But the fact remains that earning more money provides you the opportunity to build a strong financial foundation and begin to identify your goals, whether that's buying a house, traveling more, upgrading your lifestyle, or saving for retirement.

Saying you want to make more money and actually earning a higher salary are two different things. So how can you craft your career, negotiation, and investment strategies from the very beginning, so you have the money you need to make those dreams a reality?

The truth: It’s not easy. We all worry that past career and negotiating mistakes will prevent us from ever catching up financially. The key is to learn from those bad experiences and set up a strategy that works for you.

Thankfully, there's a wealth of great advice out there. And today we've rounded up some of our favourite tidbits from a recent Ellevate panel that featured Ann Shoket, author of The Big Life , Alexandra Dickinson, founder of Ask For It, and Jaime Petkanics, founder of The Prepary, talking about the three most common hang-ups they see holding women back — and how to catch yourself before you fall for those traps.

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Angelina Jolie is one of the most most talked about stars on the planet. The Oscar-winning actress, director, humanitarian, and mother of six has worked with refugees on behalf of the UN, helmed a cinematic tribute to the birthplace of her oldest son, and shown us what it’s like to live as a global citizen. After over two decades in the spotlight, it’s no wonder we remain intrigued. But with all that chatter comes a lot of speculation, most of which is flat-out bunk.

In a recent interview with InStyle, Jolie revealed an important person in her life, one that even the tabloids hadn't uncovered: dermatologist Rhonda Rand. “It’s who my mother [Marcheline Bertrand] brought me to when I was little with my first scar,” she told the publication of her mom, who died in 2007. “To have somebody who is very encouraging of being as natural as possible has really helped me, I think.”

It’s a revelation that not only shut down a lot wayward skin treatment claims that have been made about the actress over the years, but it’s also shined a light on Dr. Rand herself. Through three decades of treatment, which includes treating Jolie’s kids, Dr. Rand has never spoken publicly of her (or any of her A-list clients). “I take care of a lot of celebrities and part of the reason I think I do is that I don’t talk about it,” she tells us. “A lot of dermatologists will disclose famous patients and post it on Instagram. I’d never do that because it’s not me.”

Ahead, in a Refinery29 exclusive, Dr. Rand breaks that rule (with Jolie's blessing) and shares why the beauty icon looks better than ever, the actual products you'll find in her medicine cabinet, and the rewards of maintaining a doctor/patient relationship that spans generations.

She Started Young

"When [Jolie] knew she was going to have an acting career, she wanted to take care of her skin in the most sensible way. She’s lucky she has her mom’s beautiful, olive skin. She’s always been such a natural beauty, so she didn’t ever have to do much. It was really just sunscreen, proper cleansing with a mild, gentle cleanser, antioxidants, sometimes glycolic [acids], and natural products. Some alpha hydroxy [acids] are good too, and they’re very natural. She doesn’t need major scrubs or products with lots of chemicals."

She Takes A Minimal Makeup Approach

"The thing about [Jolie] is she never wears makeup unless she’s working — it’s probably another reason her skin looks good. She’s also good about removing makeup. I know her makeup artist is super careful about what she puts on her skin and takes good care of it when she's working."

"Her skin is naturally beautiful — again it’s not like she has to run to the doctor all that often. If she’s gone for a month or two, or is using a lot of makeup for filming, she doesn’t lose ground."

She Never Skimps On Her Routine

"When she travels, she takes a good skin care regimen with her [including] alpha hydroxys or antioxidants. There’s a product of mine that she loves [called] Dermbasics RR Perfection Cream. It’s a chemical-free antioxidant sunscreen and that’s a good thing to travel with.

"We also have another product she likes and takes with her: Dermbasics Glycolic Acid Pads 20%. They remove the stratum corneum, increase collagen and elastin, keep pores clean and appearing small, and even out discolouration."

She Stays Protected

"She’s olive skinned like her mom, but it’s not like she lets herself get dark. She’s been so good about using sunscreen from such an early age to protect her skin. She knew that the sun is not good for skin in general — in terms of pigmentation problems and that sort of thing. She’s also good about wearing hats, which is so important. She hydrates a lot and does a lot of good moisturising, but again, it’s the sun protection that’s going to stop you from ageing more than anything."

She Doesn't Go Crazy With Treatments

"I basically try not to do too much. There’s a light laser resurfacing we like to use sometimes, but just once in a while. It’s used to improve your skin and give it a little bit of a glow, but it’s a little more than a facial. When she was pregnant, she got a little pigmentation. And sometimes, when she’s in very sunny climates working, she can get some pigmentation, too. We can help take care of that with a photofacial or Intense Pulsed Light (IPL). We’re super careful. None of these things change the quality of your skin or cause scarring.

"She doesn't have any kind of a plastic look because [she] doesn’t do anything drastic — she doesn’t need it. She has really good genes and gets more and more beautiful with time.

How Early Menopause Affected Her Skin

"Every woman goes through menopause, some women do at 48, some at 53. Yes it’s true that Angelina experienced forced menopause a little bit earlier [following her preventative surgery to have her ovaries removed because she carries the BRCA1 gene]. But if you take care of your skin, it’s going to look so much better. Even through the menopause changes, as long as you moisturise and use some good, quality products like antioxidants, alphy hydroxys, or maybe retinol — those things are all great for your skin."

Why She's Coming Clean About Her Skin Care Secrets

“She’s such a lovely person and is always kind and thankful when I see her. I think we’ve stayed with this relationship so long because I never really talked about treating her. I never asked her to disclose that she was my patient. Then one day she came to me saying, ‘I’m so tired of people saying that I go to that place and I don’t — I only go to you. I want to set the record straight, I want people to know about you.'"

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209 days ago, the New York Times published the first piece chronicling the abuse endured by women from Harvey Weinstein. It opened with Ashley Judd sharing her own story, and included a powerful quote from the actress: “Women have been talking about Harvey amongst ourselves for a long time, and it’s simply beyond time to have the conversation publicly.” Within hours, Tarana Burke's #MeToo movement was being embraced by countless women sharing their own stories of sexual harassment and assault online. 121 days ago, women in Hollywood mobilised to start Time's Up, an organisation working to end sexual harassment in the workplace. Judd was not only one of the first women to speak out about Weinstein but one of the founders of Time's Up. Five days ago, Judd spoke at the Tribeca Talks: Time's Up event about the next public conversation we need to have — the importance of healing for these survivors.

Below is the open letter – in Judd's own, powerful words – read at the event.

We can heal. That has been my experience. We may not, admittedly, know how to, or even from what we need to heal. It may be the event itself, or vivid or dull memories of it, and it is entirely plausible that we don’t even remember the event. There is a police record of a time I was sexually assaulted in high school. I was wearing a green and gold cheerleader uniform, my mother tells me. It was in a local store, and I have no memory of that crime. We may not even think we need to heal, that maybe we’ve just had some crappy relationships. Whatever trauma looks like in our lives, feelings can be healed.

Healing is our birthright. It was not our birthright to be sexually harassed or assaulted or raped based on social constructs of gender, biology, sex, identity, orientation, ethnicity, race, ability, or any intersection thereof. It is our birthright to know in our bones that it wasn’t our fault. We humans hurt each other, and sometimes we hurt ourselves, but we can make decisions and take actions that free us.

Everyone’s freedom may look a little different. For some it is calling the police, or reporting to HR, or contacting the legal defence fund. Often choices include healthy, cathartic processing with a safe, wise friend or a trauma-informed specialist. The particular freedom I’m describing does have one universal quality: It’s an inside job. It is peace of mind. Yes, we can have peace of mind, even as survivors of violent sexual assault. It does take work, and it does take time. It requires transformation, and we are worth it.

This meta-transformation is a powerful journey from being a disempowered victim who was aggressed upon to the wound becoming an integrated part of the whole that we are. Trauma lives in the cells of our bodies and it affects the neuroanatomical pathways of our brain; it is completely natural for being a victim to be a part of our bodies. It is, I am here to tell you, impermanent.

There’s no universal timeframe for this trajectory of healing, and everyone’s work looks a little different. For some, talking about it drives the trauma deeper into the brainstem, and for others, divulging every nuance and detail is liberating. Professional modalities have helped hundreds of thousands of us get relief from impossible burdens. Inpatient treatment, workshops, and retreats have brought us together and set us free. Experiential work and movement are necessary. Breathing is free, and it intercepts PTSD. Meditation is clinically proven to ameliorate the trauma that lies triggered and wired in our brains, waiting for life to trip us up. Exercise is still the best pill around. Twelve-step programs and other resources are so helpful because many of us, in our efforts to self-soothe, to find peace where there has been turmoil, turn to alcohol or give it a cookie, take it shopping, seek out relationships. And those behaviours can become out of hand or even compulsive.

Eventually, though, what happened to us becomes externalised, and we may hold it in our hands and look at it objectively. The facts remain the facts, but by God, we change. Resilience kicks in.

This is not fair. Let’s be plain. It isn’t right or fair that 1 out of 4 girls or 1 out of 6 boys will be sexually assaulted, by conservative estimates, by the age of 18, amongst other catastrophic statistics. But—and this is everything, my friends—when we become aware of our pain, and have some education about it, we become responsible for addressing our pain in effective and healthy ways. What happened to us will always have been wrong, sexist, and criminal, yet we are fundamentally and ultimately responsible, respondable to our own lives. This may sound harsh, but it means we have autonomy, we are powerful, and we have agency.

The final stage is that what happened to us merely becomes a story we tell that may be of service to another human being. Perhaps placed in God’s hands, or some other benevolent, compassionate higher power’s hands, this story makes life so worthwhile and meaningful now. With it, we can help others avert death and misery.

You are not alone, I believe you, and it wasn’t your fault, by now are our internal paradigm. We learn how to trust people who are trustworthy and have discernment about those who are not. We can artfully set and maintain healthy boundaries. We use our voices, we weather retaliation and act up anyway. We cease taking people, places, and things so personally, and what was that rage Tarana [Burke] spoke about becomes our strength, our energy, and our motivation. What was depression becomes expression, and self-pity and helplessness are transformed into dignity, integrity, and courage. We celebrate and enjoy our sexuality. We prosecute and forgive at the same time.

There will still be the hard days. The facts do remain the facts, but we know our preciousness and our fierceness. Healing, damn it, is our birthright.

With love and hope,

Ashley

Ashley Judd is an actress, author, and humanitarian. She serves as Global Goodwill Ambassador for UNFPA, as the Global Ambassador for Population Services International and Polaris Project, and is on the Advisory Boards of ICRW, Apne Aap Worldwide, and Demand Abolition. She is Chairperson of the Women’s Media Center Speech Project: Curbing Abuse, Expanding Freedom. Ashley is a sought after public speaker and widely published bestselling author who frequently serves as an expert panelist at international conferences. An accomplished actress both on film and stage, Ashley has been nominated for several Golden Globe and Emmy awards.

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Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have a new competitor in the crowded dating app ring: Facebook. Today, Mark Zuckerberg announced the launch of Facebook Dating — which he said will be for “building real, long-term relationships, not just hookups” — during his keynote at F8, the company’s big developer conference.

The launch of a dating feature is somewhat unexpected from Facebook. Although there have always been stories of people meeting on the social network — including one anecdotal couple from 2016 that, according to Zuckerberg, served as an instigator for today’s launch — the focus has always been on building friendships, rather than romantic relationships. You might reconnect with a friend you haven’t spoken to since elementary school or bond with someone in a group for writers, but there has never been a built-in way to connect with fellow singles.

The obvious concerns with a dating service provided by Facebook — ones that are heightened in a post Cambridge Analytica -era — are privacy and safety. Chris Cox, Facebook’s Chief Product Officer, addressed these concerns, and emphasised that a dating profile on Facebook will be different than a regular profile.

When you set up a dating profile, only your first name is shown and the profile is not connected to your normal Facebook profile. It is not entirely clear how Facebook plans to populate potential matches, but your Facebook friends will not appear in your queue, and you won't appear in theirs, either. Nothing will be shared on News Feed, so you don’t need to worry about others finding out when you make a match, and, most importantly, messaging takes place in a separate inbox that is not connected to Messenger.

The process of checking out potential matches looks more similar to Hinge than Tinder or Bumble. When you tap someone’s main photo, you scroll down to see additional photos and information about interests, instead of swiping through. When you want to start a conversation, you need to choose something from that person’s profile to comment on.

The main feature differentiating Facebook Dating from its romantic counterparts is an events option, which lets you "unlock" nearby events and see profiles for others who have also expressed interest in attending. You can start chatting with someone you're interested in and, if all goes well, make plans to meet up in person.

In the hours since Zuckerberg first announced Facebook Dating, Match Group's stock has tumbled 11%. Although Facebook is dealing with plenty of security-related troubles, it's still a formidable market force. Though it will be curious to see who uses the company's new dating service: Gen Z or their parents.

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Since reactiviating his Twitter account two weeks ago, Kanye West has already amassed over 300 tweets. He literally will not shut up. When the rapper isn’t talking about his logic behind supporting Trump, he's sharing his latest music, and he doesn’t seem to care what fans he loses in the process.

On Tuesday, West Tweeted out an interview with The Breakfast Club’s radio personality Charlamagne Tha God. In the hour and 45-minute sit down, West said, “I got feelings, bruh. I got feelings. I be feeling a way.” And has he ever.

Beyond The Great Taylor Swift Incident, Jay Z and Beyoncé skipping out on his wedding to Kim Kardashian, and getting liposuction, the rapper got emotional about his style career, from his close friend and collaborator Virgil Abloh being named menswear artistic director at Louis Vuitton to working with Adidas.

“Nobody owes me anything but I’m still going to feel what I feel,” he said. Well, here's how Kanye West feels about the fashion industry.

Bernard Arnault Is His Idol
“Bernard Arnault is the richest person in fashion. He’s the head of the LVMH group. I’ve been to his house before. I’ve shaken hands to do a deal before with this man. He’s one of my idols, like Jay Z. He’s cold. He made culture before there was culture, because he set the platform before there was the Internet to hire John Galliano from Central Saint Martins, one of Louis Wilson’s students; to hire Marc Jacobs. He had the vision. This man is a visionary. He is one of my idols. I feel his energy. I love him and he loves me.”

Virgil Abloh Apparently Graduated From The School Of Donda...
“They have two main schools that have raised the fashion icons: Parsons in New York and Central Saint Martins in London. Arnault and [François-Henri] Pinault [CEO of Kering Group], that is their recruiting camp. They go there. And now the breakthrough of Virgil is, now we have someone who has come from Donda, who has come from the school of Kanye West. And I hear people talk about "Oh, he ain’t go to school.' Oh, we went to school, all right.”

…& Learned How To Become A “Photoshop Artist"
“We were doing JPEGs in Japan, we were making photoshop so much and not making clothes, we started joking about the JPEGs... We couldn’t figure out how to actually make the clothes, so we’d just do it in photoshop. And Virgil became the fastest photoshop artist that I have ever met in my life.”

The Two Interned Together at Fendi
“We interned at Fendi but we ain’t do shit. We ain’t get to do nothing. We were just happy to have a key card.”

Abloh Waited Until The Last Minute To Tell Him About Louis Vuitton
“You know, there is some validation in the fact that someone that I came up with is now the head of Louis Vuitton. That was a slight, I shouldn’t have worded it like that. Virgil is the head of menswear, Nicolas Ghesqui è re is the head of womenswear, but Arnault is the head. I just want to word it right. Every time we say head, it’s like a slight to Nicolas. Nicolas is the God. The best, top, top number one designer in the world.”

But Kanye Understood Why
“You know me, I’m wild. He had to work with me for 10 years. My reputation is like The Devil Wears Prada. People are mindful of the way they give me information, too. He wasn’t like ‘I’m going to…’ He laid it out in a very specific way. I showed him the Yeezy Season Six campaign, I showed him Paris Hilton, I showed him this and that. But he knew he was going to Louis Vuitton at that time because he did System magazine, an LVMH magazine. Whenever they are about to prep up a new talent they put them on System magazine. Just to kind-of put it in the ethos of this is who we’re going to put here.”

He Isn’t Mad, But He Is A Little Hurt
"This happened right after the fashion show in February. I met with Arnault in February, we shook our hands on the [Yeezy/LVMH] deal, and then his son called me and he said, 'You know, it’s dropped at the board. We don’t think it’s going to be profitable before we run out of money.' They only wanted to invest 30 million into it. You need to invest at least 100 million if you’re making a new brand. I know that was a stunt [to say only 30 million], but people need to get higher ceilings and shit. This is Diddy talk. This is what Khaled be talking about. When they pulled on the deal, as I went into Season Two, we didn’t have any production partner and the collection never went to market. The first collection with Adidas had line-ups and there was nothing to fall back on for the second collection due to that negotiation. So the hurtful part was, they agreed to support my clothing, and guess who was one of my designers? Virgil.”

It’s Okay Though, He's Building His Own Empire At Yeezy
“Our mission and what we fought for is to be able to take the best talents in the world and land that price point which we haven’t done yet. We’re not interested in high fashion. I’m changing the concept, the idea of luxury. Time is a luxury. Space is a luxury. Friends are a luxury. Getting your vision out into the world is a luxury.”

Oh, & He Isn’t Into Wearing Labels Right Now
“People call me homeless all the time. But this is my confidence. I don’t wear branding. When I see branding, I see insecurity. And I see people buying security. Buying it back through a brand. Protection, a badge. Like, don’t mess with me in high school…I got Supreme on.”

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Welcome to Money Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.

This week we are with a woman who recently left her job working for an independent business to pursue a similar role in a bigger, branded company – it's her first "big girl job". As part of the recruitment process, she has to complete 12 weeks of training all across the country and then pass a review. This week, she is off to a city three hours away from home and is worried as it will be the first time she's spent more than two nights away from her boyfriend, who she lives with. She says she is just as nervous about him being left to his own devices as she is about being away on her own. Will she come home to find a burnt pizza stuck to the bottom of the oven…again?!

Industry: Hospitality and restaurant management
Age: 24
Location: Northwest (but living away in the northeast!)
Salary: £23,000
Paycheque amount: £1,576.64
Number of housemates: 1 (my boyfriend)

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: Total rent (including bills) and council tax = £782 split between the two of us = £391
Loan payments: £42 student loan
Utilities: Included in the price of the flat
Transportation: My boyfriend and I share a car that we have on finance, totalling £168 per month including tax between us. We paid the insurance off in one go at the start of the year so the only other cost is around £30 per month petrol each, so £114 per month
Phone bill: £37
Savings? I wish! I do try to save around £200 per month but I donʼt beat myself up if I havenʼt managed it recently with changing jobs.
Other: I have a monthly prescription that I pay online for £17.60 (that reminds me to renew my monthly prescription card!). I also swapped my gym membership for Apple Music at £9.99 per month, the theory being it will encourage me to walk to work...maybe.

Total: £811.59

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Hands down the best month of the year, May boasts two long weekends, which means more time to check out some of the UK's best beer gardens, restaurants, festivals, art exhibits and new releases.

Team Refinery29 has been pencilling a few things in the calendar – the Tate's Shape of Light exhibit is well worth a visit if you're a lover of photography – or if you're looking for some Insta-worthy photo opps, we recommend Sense of Space at Exchange Square, where you can immerse yourself in an infinity garden of cherry blossoms. For live music, there's BBC Radio 1’s Biggest Weekend, where you can catch Florence + The Machine and Camila Cabello (among many others).

Click through to see the gigs, events, films and shows we're looking forward to in May...

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The following is an extract from Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure and Relationships by Juno Roche.

I met a man online recently. He was attractive, seemed sweet, seemed intelligent, had a lovely dog, but most importantly he was quite kinky. I have kinks and our kinks seemed to match. We seemed to have ‘kink-parity’. We spent quite a bit of time talking through online messenger and then via video call. I would have described him as ‘lazy masculine’ or ‘slouchy masculine’. I’ve worked out recently that’s my type (I think). Cross fingers and hope for certainty – my clock is ticking. Writing this book is helping me to find my type and to be brave enough to go out and look for my type.

Slouchy masculine; masculine with a good body but not one from a gym, a beard that isn’t trimmed by a salon, and a sense of self that is able to talk about cock size without that size needing to be big. Masculine that doesn’t shout masculine but just is. I think in truth it’s not an uncommon attraction. Most of us are looking for someone who isn’t trying too hard, but I’m realising that this kind of masculinity resides across the genders and in the nonbinary space. I’m attracted to masculinity and I think by default I experience myself as feminine, although after recent sexual/intimate non-starters I’m beginning to question that. Am I feminine at all? Do I make attempts to be feminine because I have a notion that in order to be attracted to masculinity (my binary world kicks in) I feel that I must be fixed-feminine?

Am I far less defined than that? Could I be nonbinary or fluid or blurred?

I liked the man. When we talked kinks, I could feel the moisture, the wetness seep out and across my vulvic domain. I could feel the uttering light kicks of sexual expectation kick in and I knew that I wanted to explore my kinks along with an exploration of intimacy that would allow me to feel at ease being explorative. As well as sex and role plays, we talked about our views on the world, not in any depth – this was essentially sex chat – but in enough depth for me to feel comfortable sending him a short message saying that I was proudly trans and would really like to meet him in person.

His response was swift and unrelentingly clear. He said: "That should have been the very first thing you told me. I thought you might be but I gave you the benefit of the doubt." It was absolute in his last message, before he blocked me, when he said: "Times are changing and I wish you luck finding someone else."

I wasn’t sure which times were changing if his instant response was to walk away. Before my essentially telling him that I’d once had a penis, he saw me as sexual, sexy, desirable, kink-able and as someone to get intimate with. Had my once having had a penis meant that in his eyes I was no longer ‘feminine’? Did the shadow of a penis override any sense of being now? In truth I questioned my own sense of self. Did I really understand how the world perceives me? A stream of horrible and reductive questions about passing, blending and my own reality sprang into my mind as my pussy dried up like a river in Sudan. His comment "the benefit of the doubt’" reduced me to a visceral fragility that undermined my being the woman who upped and moved to the remote Spanish mountains or the woman who took on the inequality of the education system and made real gains. I became packed to the rafters with bricks of dysphoria that I felt I’d dismantled years ago. I became ‘out of body flimsy’ again.

Does the shadow of my penis – which I didn’t want, didn’t really use, didn’t identify with – really mean that an awful lot of this world will forever see me, us, as masculine no matter how much we seek ‘feminine authenticity’ or a ‘feminine reality’. Seeking a gendered reality in opposition or in contrast to another’s gendered reality is tough if we are consistently taken back to a gender that was never ours.

One thing he did say in parting, which I need to let simmer in my thoughts, was that if I was so proud of being trans why didn’t I say straightaway?

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If we could live in out of office beachwear all day everyday, we probably would. Whimsical tiered midi dresses, linen palazzo pants that don't constrict your legs, clothing that's as easy and breezy as we wish our surrounding were. But while our 9-to-5 typically doesn't allow room for potentially see-through skirts and little white tops, come summer, our after hours definitely do.

That's the allure of a good crochet dress. Once relegated to an era of bygone authentic hippies, crocheted clothing has transcended past the boho looks of the '90s and early '00s and D.I.Y. Etsy stores, and straight into designer collections. Paired over a slip in place of a bikini, this holiday staple can live right at home on a rooftop happy hour. Just be sure to steer clear of overly-done halter top maxi cuts or matching it with a wicker bag — we're trying to emulate our vacation looks, not replicate them.

To instantly transport yourself from cityscape to beachside cabana, shop the 17 crochet picks ahead.

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I was raped and chose not to report it. "Why didn’t I go to the police?" is the question that gets thrown most at me. After recent high-profile rape trials, my response is: "Why would I go to the police?"

It’s been a hard few weeks to be a survivor, and a woman.

Ireland and Spain have recently seen high-profile sexual assault and rape trials. I’ve been sucked into every headline, hoping that one of the links will take me to some better world. When I read the outcome in Ireland [two rugby players were acquitted of raping a 19-year-old student] I felt sick to my stomach. I still do.

In Spain, an 18-year-old woman was attacked by five men during the bull-running festival in Pamplona in 2016. Despite filming nonconsensual sex with the teenager and bragging about the incident on a WhatsApp messaging group where they called themselves "la manada" or "the wolf pack", last Thursday they were acquitted of gang rape, and convicted instead of the lesser "non-violent or intimidating" crime of "sexual abuse".

Protests at the verdict in Spain are ongoing, as thousands of people share my disgust at the way this young woman was treated.

The victim was found visibly distraught on a bench by passersby. She didn’t hesitate when they suggested she contact the police. As the victim of sexual assault, she did everything "right".

While legally we must respect the verdict, we still need to talk about the way in which the woman at the centre of the trial was treated by the accused, lawyers and the system. The case's focus was never on what happened that night, but whether she was lying or not.

This trial, unfortunately, fits the same depressing narrative as many rape cases. It's not the men on trial; it's the women.

When it comes to rape, what a woman wears and how she looks at someone affects the likelihood of consent. Her sexual history determines if she "wanted it", while intimate garments from her sex life are hung out for the world to shame her with. Despite her academic, career and personal achievements, she is all too often considered a "silly little girl" who doesn't know her own mind or what happened. She is presented as intoxicated. She must be "crying rape".

I wonder how many mugging victims are instantly assumed to be lying. Or how many muggers don’t get convicted because the victim was wearing an expensive watch, or had been drinking?

Not being found guilty beyond reasonable doubt does not equate to innocence. And yet, if rape comes up at the dinner table, it isn’t long before the conversation moves on to the devastating effects on the lives of the falsely accused. The perception that these "life-ruining" events happen all the time overshadows the deplorable prevalence of sexual violence in our schools, workplaces and streets.

What is also frequently omitted is the real rate of false rape allegations. At just 3%, the numbers are no higher than for any other crime. Research even suggests that most false claims do not name an alleged perpetrator, and therefore have no reputational or life-altering consequences for the accused. In 2016/17, Rape Crisis received 202,666 phone calls. So where is the uproar for the ruined lives of all those victims, whose rights were stripped away when they were violated?

Everyone has an opinion on what they would do if someone attempted to rape them. When a woman is attacked in the movies, we often see her shout, run or fight. But when it happened to me, that’s not what happened. My instincts kicked in and told my body to freeze – a reaction that is often used in court to confirm "consent".

Victim blaming has become weaponised to cast a shadow over the victim; they are a liar out to ruin a man's life. And just like that, the victim becomes the suspect.

I’m not convinced that my account of being raped would hold up against days of intimate and humiliating attacks – not beyond a reasonable doubt anyway.

Years later, I am finally able to speak out about what happened to me, because I want to raise awareness of the issue and fight for support for other young women in my position. But even now if I am asked why I didn't report it, I still reply: "Why would I report it?"

Since I set up Revolt Sexual Assault and began campaigning, I’ve been accused of jumping on the bandwagon. I’ve been called a slut who just woke up with regrets about sleeping with someone. I’ve been called an attention-seeker, out for fame and monetary gain (no sign of it yet). I get called a liar because I didn’t report being raped to the police. But if I had reported it, I’d have ended up being called a liar too. And we wonder why survivors don’t always report rape straightaway, or ever.

Some days, telling my story is empowering; other days, I cry myself to sleep. Helping survivors is the only "gain" I’ve found from campaigning, and even that comes with a cost. Reliving what happened to me, and others like me, is not easy – it has the power to drain me of energy for days, sometimes weeks.

The idea that rape survivors lead a glamorous existence after speaking out is so far from the truth. Those that do have the courage to go to trial spend years with the investigation and court date hanging over them. They have to repeatedly relive the trauma, knowing that when they get to court they will be humiliated on the stand in front of family, friends and their country.

Not being believed is every woman’s worst nightmare; I think that’s why it fuelled such a fierce reaction, and the trending of #IBelieveHer in Ireland and #Cuéntalo ("Tell your story") in Spain.

The severity of the current climate for women reporting sexual violence was made all the more real by a message that I recently received, through Revolt Sexual Assault.

Georgia* was raped in her student house by her housemate’s boyfriend. After dropping out of university and trying to end her own life, the hospital persuaded her to report the rape to the police. As she told me the details of what she endured in court, the gruesome reality of how traumatising the current trial process can be for survivors was shockingly evident.

Georgia’s chilling account of her stomach turning behind the screen in the courtroom, hearing the sound of every movement her perpetrator made, left me with the most disgusting feeling. She recalls how she was questioned on the stand:

"I was so scared I almost wet myself. The defence barrister kept repeating questions, no matter how psychologically harmful they were. I ended up sat on the floor in the corridor begging for my mum and begging them to stop. After five hours of questioning over two days, I said I couldn't take the torment any more. I was screaming and crying and I didn't eat for three days."

As a result, the trial collapsed. And so did her belief in the system.

We wonder why rape is the only crime where the victim is on trial too, but while sexism and sexual violence are normalised, this is unlikely to change. Rape victims won’t come forward and juries will acquit more than they convict.

Let’s put rapists on trial, not women.

If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.

*Name has been changed

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Our salaries and spending habits may largely shape what our daily lives look like, but they remain shrouded in taboo and it's endlessly fascinating (sometimes infuriating) to find out how much other people earn and how they manage their money.

Regardless of our jobs, where we live has a significant impact on how much we earn, as new data from the Centre for Cities, published by the BBC, shows. The average national weekly wage is £539 before tax, but if you're looking to earn more than this it's worth moving to one of 15 of the UK's largest towns and cities with a higher-than-average weekly wage.

Salaries in London are the highest in the UK at a weekly £727, which is unsurprising considering that the capital attracts the country's highest-paying companies and a sizeable number of highly skilled workers.

There is large variation between London boroughs, however, with workers in the City helping to bring up the average salary in the eastern borough of Tower Hamlets to £952 per week, compared with £518 in Sutton, in southwest London.

Outside London, the next six places with the highest salaries are all in the southeast of England. Average weekly wages in Reading, Crawley, Milton Keynes, Cambridge, Slough and Oxford are all £600 or more.

Milton Keynes (£619), Cambridge (£609), Slough (£606) and Oxford (£600), which was just named the best place in the UK to buy a first home, also boast higher-than-average weekly wages, with Edinburgh (£598), Aberdeen (£597) and Derby (£595) not far behind.

At the other end of the scale, the lowest weekly wages in the UK can be found in Southend (£413) in Essex, a mere hour's train journey from the capital. A fifth of the town's population does, in fact, take advantage of this proximity and commute to the capital for work, as the BBC reports.

Most of the other lowest paid towns and cities are in Yorkshire and the northwest of England. After Southend, the lowest salaries can be found in Huddersfield (£424), Birkenhead (£428) and Wigan (£436).

The main reasons for the wage disparity across the UK are the number of high-paying jobs in each place and the skill levels of the town or city's population. The cost of living is also important, with companies in expensive cities like London, Cambridge and Oxford needing to entice employees with higher wages.

Where to earn the highest weekly salaries in the UK (national average: £539 before tax)

1. London (£727)
2. Reading (£655)
3. Crawley (£633)
4. Milton Keynes (£619)
5. Cambridge (£609)
6. Slough (£606)
7. Oxford (£600)
8. Edinburgh (£598)
9. Aberdeen (£597)
10. Derby (£595)
11. Aldershot (£588)
12. Southampton (£579)
13. Luton (£571)
14. Swindon (£560)
15. Bristol (£547)
16. Leeds (£533)
17. Coventry (£532)
18. Birmingham (£527)
19. Glasgow (£526)
20. Gloucester (£526)

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We have all been copied at some point – from our homework to our outfits – and to be honest, most of the time it's flattering. But for artists and designers, copying is an increasingly pervasive issue. Since social media took off and publishing one's work online became a highly effective way of being noticed, many have had to deal with the devastation of realising, while scrolling through a site like Instagram, that someone else is taking credit for their work.

Many choose to use social media to call out the person or brand in question, which can be effective, especially for bigger creatives who've got a legion of followers rallying behind them.

Refinery29 spoke to Laura Sfez, creator of the French clothing brand L'Ecole des Femmes, about her experience with this. Since establishing her brand back in 2005, she claims she has seen "at least 200 brands that have copied" her work. Sfez says she responds by messaging them first, which doesn’t always work out. This has led her to take more drastic steps, including posting her work alongside the copycat for her followers to see.

"I go after them. I message them via Instagram, their website, and then when I don't get an answer I take it to the new court of justice – social media. I let the people decide based on their knowledge of the brand and how long I've been around. One can easily scroll through my feed dating back to 2012 and see the birth of the styles," she states.

Julie Houts, a designer at J.Crew and an Instagram illustrator says: "Occasionally, one of my followers will give me a heads up via DM that someone has posted an image of mine without crediting me. In a few rare instances, I’ve discovered people passing my work off as their own, or redrawing it and passing it off as their own."

@bonlook on the left just out. @lecoledesfemmes on the right since 2012. #unefemmelibre

A post shared by copycatsbeware (@copycatsbeware) on Mar 11, 2018 at 8:54am PDT

Houts finds it annoying, adding that it fills her with "a mixture of wonderment and irritation. Wonderment in the sense of just, 'Wow, who would do this and why? Where do they see this going?' And irritation for all the obvious reasons."

Like Sfez, Houts will also message the person directly and ask them to credit her – but the responses are usually divided. "About half the people are happy to credit me and apologise. They find the image on someone else’s page uncredited, and just repost it, like a meme. I can easily understand how that happens. They’re not intentionally not crediting my work. Those exchanges are friendly and easy."

"Another group [of copiers]," usually a meme account, she says, "never opens my DM, never credits, despite people calling it out."

When Houts is unsuccessful in getting these copycats to stop taking her work, she chooses to block those accounts, which she says gives her more control.

Both Houts and Sfez have found their followers supportive in these cases, but for those with less of a following, would calling someone out on social media still be your best bet? If you don't have your own brand to fall back on, could it affect your future chances of getting work?

Dan Schawbel is a world-renowned career and workplace expert and author of Back to Human, a book which aims to help leaders build stronger team relationships amid our dependency on technology. He said he's often asked what to do if a manager or co-worker takes credit for your work: "People take credit from others regularly but it's rarely talked about publicly because it's embarrassing and frustrating. It happens regularly in hostile work environments that are run by poor managers. When a manager or co-worker is just out for themselves, it makes it really hard to form the strong team bonds, and trust, that contribute to success."

In an office setting this pattern of behaviour will eventually have a negative effect on the perpetrator. "While your manager receives a short-term gain from copying your work, word gets around and eventually no one will want to work for them."

But what about those not in an office setting? What about creatives who deal with the majority of this sort of thing online? Schawbel warns against resolving your private work issues in a public forum and advises: "First, you should share credit when it's due so that you lead by example. Second, if someone steals credit, or your ideas, you should isolate the situation, by talking to them privately."

A post shared by jooleeloren (@jooleeloren) on Mar 8, 2018 at 9:14am PST

He adds that calling out a person or brand could cost you current or potential jobs. Sfez says she’s found the support from her fans overwhelming: "My followers are full of heart and fight. They do not stand for injustice and are so supportive... They will go after the copycat accounts until the images are taken down, these moments are very touching for me." Dan Schawbel suggests that one should "refrain from calling out people publicly for legal reasons, bad karma and retaliation. Instead, I would handle it privately and then move to a lawsuit if necessary."

As an independent creative, there are other methods you could try before an expensive lawsuit. Houts recommends "either watermark or incorporate your handle into the drawing." Paper-based watermarking means including a tactile mark on your work that becomes visible when turning the paper at a certain angle or holding it up to the light. Digital watermarking is much more advanced and lives within metadata. It's associated with hiding digital information in a carrier signal that can verify the authenticity and show the identity of its owner.

Houts has come to accept watermarking as part of the process. "I’ll have someone who outright refuses [to take my image down] and says something to the effect of, 'Its your fault for not watermarking the image'. Or hilariously, one time, 'It's the internet dude. Deal'. Which is maddening but actually, I guess, somewhat valid?"

If you're seeking the next step, Sfez has in some cases sent out cease and desist letters, which she's found to be effective: "Some of these businesses have actually taken down the images of the copied items." A cease and desist letter is a document sent to an individual or business to stop (cease) and not to continue (desist) with a particular behaviour. In order to send this kind of letter, your work must be registered and copyrighted. The letter will then cover the following elements: the recipient (who needs to stop the copyright/trademark infringement), the sender (the individual requesting the recipient to stop the unlawful behaviour), details of the behaviour, which should be followed by the legal action that will be initiated if the behaviour doesn't stop, and finally the date. Needless to say, these should not be sent lightly.

Thanks to the internet, ideas are constantly circulating. Similar work turns up all the time. That being said, if there is one design or idea that you're proud of, should you really let it pass? It begs the question: If you don't nip it in the bud now, will you ever?

In the end, it comes down to weighing up how important this work is to you and whether it's worth the effort of gaining the credit. If it is, then stand your ground. As both Laura Sfez and Julie Houts have demonstrated, there is more than one way to call out copycats.

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On Tuesday, Miley Cyrus took back the apology she issued after her June 2008 photoshoot with Vanity Fair, which showed the then-15-year-old as seemingly topless under a blanket. Ten years ago, the photo elicited a flurry of controversy that, in retrospect, has not aged well. It's hard to believe that had the photo been released now the public would have treated it with the same kind of disdain.

"A lot of things have changed and I think the conversation has changed a lot," Cyrus told Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday night. This change is good and necessary, of course, because women are no longer encouraged to be ashamed of their bodies, or immediately sexualised whenever they wear something that shows their midriff. It's people like Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratajkowski who we have to thank for these changing morals, but we can't leave behind the women like Cyrus who fell victim to the shaming because it happened to occur on the wrong side of the revolution.

"Sexualizing Miley: Are Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus Letting Her Be The New Lolita?" one headline read following the release of the Vanity Fair pictures. "The Miley Cyrus Pics: Damage Control" Time Magazine wrote. The New York Daily News described the photos, in which Cyrus' shoulder is showing, as "R-Rated." This backlash, laughable now, mounted into such a thing that Cyrus told Kimmel that she was basically instructed to apologise.

"My goal in my music and my acting is always to make people happy," she told People Magazine that year. "For Vanity Fair, I was so honoured and thrilled to work with Annie [Leibovitz]. I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed."

Now, however, she's singing a different tune — and she should. The shoot itself was tasteful and innocuous, and "it was everyone else's poisonous thoughts and minds that ended up turning this into something it wasn't meant to be," she said.

It wouldn't be crazy to assume that moment in her career ended up informing the transformation she went through the following years.

"So they wanna know why I come on TV shows with no shirt on," she told Kimmel. "Blame them."

Cyrus began deliberately toying with the taboo, going on to do much more than just show her shoulder, including her suggestive performance with Robin Thicke at the 2013 VMAs. She was loud and brash and sometimes problematic, but one thing she wasn't was sorry.

"For me, being a role model has been my free-spiritedness and sometimes my unapologetic attitude for decisions that I feel comfortable with," she told Kimmel.

While we can't go back in time, we can hope that Cyrus' revelation can open up the door for apologies that are overdue for the many other women who were punished over the years for behavior that society hadn't caught up to yet — and let's hope that ten years from now, we won't be making the same reparations.

Watch the full clip below.

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